Monday, March 09, 2015

Poetry: The Pin Drop

Before you laid the most beautiful sunset of your short life. Clear. Crisp. Pristine. All nature had to offer. Bright yellows, deep reds, and in the recesses, bruise-like purples. And in this fleeting moment, you pause to take it all in. The beauty. The fresh air. The air was still. You take notice. There are no birds chirping. No traffic. All was still, and all was quiet. You could hear a pin drop. For a moment, you think you did. And then, just shying from the corner of your eye, you saw the pin drop. A sun rose in the East, even though the day was done.

Poetry: Unsure

So many years I was dissatisfied
Not sure what I wanted from life
Felt there was nothing I could do
Nothing I could look forward to

But I know now that's just a lie
Something I was telling myself
Just to get by
Held myself back for someone else

Put your shoes on your feet
and walk right out that door
Cause there ain't no need
to feel that way anymore

Take some time for yourself
And put things back together
Put depression on the shelf
Misery shouldn't last forever

Tuesday, September 09, 2014

Poetry: Last Breath

The smell of nascent death
Just scant few hours left
The loss of an eye’s depth
On the draw of the last breath

It’s harrowing and ethereal
Frozen with no way to feel
An embrace of pity
Coupled with a kiss of mercy

Sometimes it’s easier to let go
Than stick with what we know
There was once love here
A privilege co-opted by fear

Poetry: When Real Life is a Television Show (You Can't Change the Channel)

When real life is a television show
You can't change the channel
Whitewash reality as the mold grows
In the grasp of their trammels

Their prowess and technology allows
Manipulation of everything you see
Leaving little clue to you or me
What's real or not on our TV

False flag at Gulf of Tonkin
So many brainwashed noggins
No one thinks to question
What really happened on 9/11

It's all about me, me, me
Maybe someday I'll be ordinary
Just like those folks on TV
Is it real just because you see?

Human manipulation on unseen scales
The sloths yawn as industry fails
The loss of thought and skill
Watching reruns, endless Coke refills

When real life is a television show
You can't change the channel
Whitewash reality as the mold grows
In the grasp of their trammels

Poetry: The Virus (Conspiracy of One)

Take some drugs
Drink this beer
Maybe you should
Maybe you oughta

Kill yourself
Seek religion
Maybe you should
Maybe you oughta

Listen to me
Become one of us
Maybe you are
Maybe you aren't

Every thing you know is wrong

Every thing we say is right

Join us

Deny self
Join the conspiracy
One of us, one of us
No self
Disparage individual
Spill the blood
Centrifugal mixture
Become one
You are someone
Yet no one

Conspiracy of one
Conspiracy of one
Conspiracy of one
Conspiracy of one

With the virus all cells are as one

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Poetry: Arbeit Macht Frei

Patrons to the Nazi work camps were greeted by signs that said "Labour Makes You Free"
I think I hear that same phrase every night on my TV

Have a sit down


We've got big plans for you
Trust us
We know what's best and right to do

Juden were known by their stamp
So what's really changed today?
Society is a work camp
They don't have to drag us away

Work away your life in their plantation
Rest and turn on their television station
Sedate yourself with drugs and alcohol
Stop thinking, nothing matters at all

Sit idly by among their transgressions
They have their own means of social oppression
On scales of which no one thinks about
Overwhelming, it sets me down and out

Far from you are all life's joys
Far from home, far from your wives
Thousands march without a noise
Work makes you free, believe the lies

Push all those papers in your cubicles
Scared of the boss, nibbling your cuticles
I see a shrew, I see you,
and the rodent things you do

Monday, June 09, 2014

Your experiences are counterfeit.

Note: This is kind of a cerebral post. A lot to sink in, and a lot of information. Links provided for further reading/citations whatever. Have fun and try to get lost in the rabbit hole, then when you get out drop me a line and tell me what you think.

"The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real, because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun... for a while.

Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, 'Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?' And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, 'Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever. Because this is just a ride.'

And we... kill those people!

'Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family.... This has to be real.'

It's just a ride." - Bill Hicks

I spend most of my free time reading stuff. I'm a curious guy. I've always had this feeling that something wasn't quite right, but due to my limited understanding, I've never been able to properly express it. I still can't really. Coming up with this "article", if you will, even had me stumped at times. But my understanding has grown since I first had this feeling, and has lead me to a point where I think I can get my point across, and maybe somebody else will get what I'm saying or maybe it'll interest them to look into it further for themselves. Or they'll think I'm a kook. And they'd be right but that's besides the point.

As we collectively understand the universe through science, it is an objective universe, as in the physical reality is constant and true outside of and independent of observation, a subjective viewing (that would be us and any other thinking creature.) As an aside, some research can suggest at times that our universe may not be as objective as we think, but it's not exactly mainstream or commonly accepted yet, so keep your eyes peeled. This is a very interesting sector of science that's always changing. I digress, we know that the universe is objective, or mostly objective on the average observable level. Yet, if you know anything about human biology, our interpretation of reality is entirely subjective. Our senses are imperfect. This is a core tenet of most philosophies and generally accepted by most scientists. Objective reality; Subjective viewers.

Just think of your circle of friends. Surely you have friends who view the world entirely different from you. (Chances are I'm that guy.) How can billions of people have vastly different views on such an objective place? Every mind is unique in it's own way. Think of all the religions. Think of all the mental illnesses that affect interpretation of reality. Schizophrenia certainly comes to my mind. Our minds are very, very powerful. (This clip is extremely dramatic, but not far from the truth.)

So what am I trying to tell you? Okay, bear with me, I'm sure you've seen the Matrix. You know how in the movie, they've got the humans hooked up to computers and they've tricked their minds into thinking the Matrix is reality? That's not exactly an unrealistic concept. (Now, technologically you'd probably have a hell of a time trying to get this to work.) But our senses work in such a way that this is within the realm of possibility. Your eyes don't actually see. Your ears don't actually hear. So on and so forth. All they do is gather information. Then that information is given to your brain and interpreted.

Curiously, our brain interprets reality slower than it happens. Which is to say, technically we're about a second behind the present. Literally living in the past. But our conditioning has lead us to deal with this now imperceptible time discrepancy. Not only that, but what our brain remembers is just bits and pieces. It only stores what it thinks is important, leaving out innumerable details and not noticing some altogether. Your mind will trip you up because what it perceives is often what it expects, not what is actually happening.

So in practice, our senses aren't actually that important when compared to the mind. Think about psychedelic drugs for example. People see things. They hear things. They taste things. They smell things. They feel things. But none of it is supposed to be real. But it feels real to them. This is the power of your mind. Think about your dreams. Are they not much the same? It all feels real at that moment in time. One of the greatest points in all of philosophy is known as the dream argument; You're never sure that you're dreaming until you wake up. How do we know that life isn't much the same? Maybe it's all just a dream. It's certainly a hard argument to prove or disprove. So that brings us to the inevitable question. What is real?

(Speaking of dreams and drugs, it appears that the brains of mice produce DMT, giving credence to a long postured theory that our pineal glands produce DMT in our dream cycles and near our deaths. Although the fast manner in which our bodies process DMT has made it very difficult to research the veracity of this theory.)

This all brings to mind RenĂ© Descartes' "Cogito Ergo Sum" (I think, therefore I am. in latin.) The very act of doubting your existence is proof of your existence. While I don't ascribe to Solipsism strictly, it sure has a good point to it; There really is one thing I can know for sure, that I exist. I cannot know for sure that the things around me, or the other minds I know about actually exist, because I am not those things. Who's to say I'm not plugged into some computer somewhere with information being pumped into me? Or just the thought of a butterfly? Your mind is more of a canvas than the paintbrush.

"It is a good viewpoint to see the world as a dream. When you have something like a nightmare, you will wake up and tell yourself that it was only a dream. It is said that the world we live in is not a bit different from this." - Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Hagakure

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Thanksgiving Part Two: The Giving of Thanks

    It's a beautiful Thanksgiving morning here in Nowheresville, VA. Cold, but beautiful. I'd like to take a moment to reflect, and I'm glad you're reading this. I'm not exactly known for being a grateful person, in fact, I'm called an "ungrateful prick" on a pretty regular basis. I guess my dissatisfaction with many things is misinterpreted. It's just a part of my personality, I'm an ISTP with an enneagram of the Reformer with a wing of the Peacemaker. It's just how I'm going to be. Forever.

    But if you read about the enneagram, and how the Reformer with a wing of Peacemaker works, it all makes sense. Nothing is good enough, because things could be better. It's not that I'm ungrateful, it's that I'm disappointed. ISTPs are also precision-oriented people who love to over-examine complex systems.... like society. My brain will get all flubbed up with information and over-processing, so sometimes I might forget to explain that my criticisms are from the approach of "Things could be better; Let's do it." I'm with the seminal hardcore-punk band D.O.A.:

Talk - Action = Zero

    So what am I thankful for? The first thing that comes to mind is something Jello Biafra said in his song Stars and Stripes of Corruption. "I'm thankful I live in a place where I can say the things I do without being taken out and shot; So I'm on guard against the goons trying to take my rights away." And that's really what it's all about. To paraphrase Arlo Guthrie, if you wanna end war and all that stuff, you can't sit down with a shut mouth. You gotta get up and stand up for your rights.

    But I'm also very thankful that I'm alive. I'm glad I'm here. I think even if I don't say it too often, I'm where and when I belong. I just fit right in there. I might complain... a lot. But I really do like this place, it's just easy to get jaded when it seems like so few people are trying. Which is why I try to surround myself as much as possible with people I'm thankful for, my family. And you don't have to be blood to be my family. You know who you are. I'm also thankful I'm a mostly healthy young guy, with not only the ability to work, but the opportunity. Maybe not as often as I would like, but it seems life always drops exactly what I need in my lap. You just can't ask for more.

    I guess you can boil it down to four things; Life, liberty, love, and the pursuit of happiness. I am thankful for all of these aspects of my life. I might not have as big a piece of pie as many or even most people, but I really appreciate what I've got. Because I like me, and all of my experiences, especially the worst of them, have turned me into who I am. To change one aspect, would be to change myself. So I am thankful for my learning experiences, and are there many. Likely many more to come.

    Thanks for lending me your 'digital ear', I hope you found this enjoyable in some way and maybe you reflected on what you're thankful for. In all likelihood you could just find me a preachy numbskull, and I'll take that handle. I hope you have a blessed, joyous, and stress-free day, and hopefully you can see people you love and maybe help out people you don't even know. Just don't go shopping.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Thanksgiving Part One: The Last Major Non-Degenerate Holiday

    I'll be the first to pipe up and say I love holidays. No matter how trivial, it's nice to set a day aside for something. Thanksgiving is a day I champion. It's really not a bad idea, is it? Get together with friends, families, and hell, even a stranger or two and celebrate the fact you're alive and have a meal set before you, along with all the other positive things in your life.

    But in the past few decades there has been a worrying trend; Holidays that promote positive social behaviours, thinking, and traditional values are being hijacked in favour of flat out degeneracy, and if they can't be hijacked they'll be spurned. Give me a moment to pontificate.

    The biggest offender here you can probably guess. The red-and-white striped menace that is Christmas; A social and economic juggernaut. From October 31st to January 5th, you just can't escape Santa's fat ass. And among my small inner-circle, I can't think of any other time of the year that causes as much stress and dread than "the season to be merry." It really is a time of the year I wish I could be like the bears, and just go take a long nap in a cave. It's not because I don't love my family, the traditional values of Christmas, the get-togethers, and all that. It's what it's been turned into.

    Before I go further, I imagine you're probably scratching your head at the word 'degeneracy' and wondering quite what I mean.

Wiktionary defines the word 'degeneracy' as;

    1. The state of being degenerate (in all senses.)

In turn, the definition of 'degenerate' in the way I am using it is defined as;

    1. (of qualities) Having deteriorated, degraded or fallen from normal, coherent, balanced and desirable to undesirable and typically abnormal.

    2. (of a human or system) Having lost good or desirable qualities.

    Okay. So what do I mean, again? Christmas is a traditional American holiday. It's been celebrated since before the United States came into being, and in the Old World before that. It has a long history. But it's always had the same sort of message; Peace on Earth, and good-will to man. And if you're a Christian, it's also a time of reverence to Jesus Christ's birth. Though, the holiday is mostly secular in origin, borrowing much from Solstice celebrations. But whether Jesus is in your bag or not, all can agree it is traditionally a holiday about loving, giving, and peace.

    But what is it today? A consumerist frenzy. They took one of the good qualities of the holiday (giving to others) and blew it out of proportion. Whether intentional or not, the holiday has been corrupted to it's very core. It used to inspire warm feelings inside me. But now, it makes me feel cold and I don't want a thing to do with it. I say, burn down the malls.

    Christmas is fundamentally a different holiday these days, in my opinion. It's really hard to find someone who celebrates it as a time of thanks, remembrance, and positive-intentions. It's fallen into the old Baby Boomer mantra of "Me, me, me.... oh and me, too." Just listen to the music you hear on the radio or in the malls. It's all soulless. My favourite Christmas record? Funky Christmas by James Brown. All the songs are about giving thanks for what you have (no matter how little it may be), God, Jesus Christ' birth, family, love, peace on Earth, good-will to your fellow man, and creating positive change in the world. The only song you could even misconstrue as being consumerist would be 'Santa Claus, Go Straight to the Ghetto' in which James Brown recounts how difficult Christmas can be in the ghetto, something he knew himself growing up.

    So what does this have to do with Thanksgiving, a truly American holiday in origin and spirit? Well, first off, it's whole intent combats degeneracy. There are no more positive human qualities than humility and gratitude. They've tried to make it a holiday of gluttony, to mixed results. But gluttony can only be so socially degenerate.

    So those bastards at Macy's decided that Thanksgiving should mark the beginning of the Christmas season, and it was all down-hill from there. And then came Black Friday. "BUY! BUY! BUY!" I really can't think of anything more degenerate. You know all about Black Friday, so I won't explicate further. But this is how they're attacking Thanksgiving.

    Yes. There is a War on Thanksgiving. Somebody notify Fox News!

    "Black Thursday." Stores opening in the evening on Thanksgiving night. A day meant for family and friends. A day that is depressing and lonely for many Americans across the country, because of what, and who, they don't have. And now, many of these poor folks who have paltry Thanksgiving dinners, sometimes out of a frozen dinner tray, have to put on their uniforms and go into work, just so pricks can get their 80" televisions at 5% off.

    It literally makes me sick to my stomach. Leave Thanksgiving alone. Give people a day off. It's hard to give thanks when you have to deal with thousands of degenerates looking to get one over on the system while the system is kicking back counting up all the dollars.

    I tell you folks, do something to make a positive change in someone's life. It can be something very little, and it can make a big impact on their lives. More than you can probably imagine. Trust me. To someone who has little or nothing, a small act of kindness means so much. I'm sure you will have a meal well into excess this Thursday. Won't you open your doors to someone who might not have that on their own? Or perhaps help someone in some other way in this season. It will mean so much more to you than getting that iPad at $40 off. If I could ask one thing from anyone reading this right now, it's to make that positive change in this world. If you won't do it, who will?

Monday, May 13, 2013

Poetry: poem000

Defected reject
Infected insect
Dejected subject
Affected suspect
Projected neglect
Injected object
Dissected elect
Expected connect
Detected inflect
Confected effect
Directed perfect
Inspected reflect
Conflicted correct
Protected respect

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Poetry: It Just Takes Some Time

One thing I know is it takes some time
I can't tell how many times I've sighed
When I go back over all the things I did
But I'll come right back to what you said

I wish life was beautiful for us
Wondering when it became so rough
It's hard to explain emotions but
Cynicism is like a form of corrosion

And for so long I've had a broken heart
Full of tears from sudden stops and starts
I've taken so much time to think it all over
I've spent way too many mornings so hung over

There's always so much to sort out
It takes some time to feel good about
Those things you don't feel so good about
But maybe in time it'll all work out

And it takes some time to get back in the game
Spending all your time pretending to be sane
Take a step back and take a look at your life
Figure out a way to cut out all of that strife

And I stop and think I've been taking my time
and I've only ended up at the back of the line
Don't know whether I've done right or wrong
but I guess I gotta keep going right along

I took some time to write another stupid song
Tried to make it catchy and fun to sing along
Sometimes you can be happy about being unhappy
I don't want to be thought of as oh so sappy

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Poetry: Waste

Wasting love with nowhere to go
Hurts my heart to be so alone
Wasted time with nothing to show
Lights are on; Nobody's home

Turn my mind off and take it slow
Get quiet and disconnect my phone
Tired of all the things I know
and also those things I don't

I want to disconnect the cable
Pull the legs from under the table
Despite everything regret birth
Not worth the fleeting mirth

Never for a second understood why
Everyone is just born to die
From an expansion to a cataclysm
I can only perpetuate altruism

Wasted love with nothing to show
There's a pain deep in my soul
Wasting time with nowhere to go
Cut the lights I'm not at home

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Introspective Solipsist Phony Baloney #1

I forged myself out of a vacuum. I am a human anvil. I am who I am because I chose such. I could have strung along the typical, expected, and instilled path. I chose not to follow it of my own volition, because I didn't like what little it had to offer. This has made my life infinitely more difficult in almost every way, being self-aware I realise the futility of it all. All I truly have is myself; No crutches whether they be drugs or faith or anything else. I guess you could say I'm a solipsist. A unique and disadvantaged disposition. Outcast even among outcasts, but I was always comfortable there. Funnily, I know you don't care, yet I don't care that you don't care. I'm just babbling away to myself. But if you must take anything away from this, it's like Carlin said, remember any cynic is just a disappointed idealist.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Poetry: Something in the Night

NOTE: This is being turned into a song by my band, FIPHSD.

I woke up late in the middle of the night
In one of the coldest sweats I've ever felt
I couldn't remember why I was stricken by fright
I figured I'd get up to walk just a little bit

As I crept through the dark and wet yard
I realized I had begun to travel rather far
I looked up at that cold and bright moon
I had this curious feeling I was being watched

I turned over my shoulder
and I noticed that up in the pines
There was something up there
There were two fiery eyes

I froze just for a moment in my fear
I wondered what I was doing here
Why had I trekked ever so far?
Just to be doomed 'neath the stars

I turned back and ran for my home
I could feel the beast's flapping wings
His shadow before me from moonlight shone
And I'm running so fast the wind it stings

I felt as if my heart would leave my chest
My only chance was to give it my all
There was not a single moment for rest
I had to get away from it's gaping maw

I felt the warm embrace of death
And I woke in the middle of the night
In the coldest sweat I've ever felt
And this thing never sat quite right

Something calls me in the night
It's always just out of the light
Something calls me in the night
This thing never sat quite right

Monday, February 25, 2013

Poetry: Generic Self Hate Song in C

NOTE: This one is being turned into a song by my band, FIPHSD.

I can't help but think that life is overrated
and all your accomplishments are overstated
It goes from grey to a colour oversaturated
Your way of life is something I always hated

I try to find meaning and I just don't see it
I've read all the books and I can't believe it
I like some people and the things we create
But overall it's just a world filled with hate

It's always been the humble and noble few
Who have given me any reason to mildew
I don't want to hurt anyone for any reason
So I'll have to wait out the end of my season

Sometimes I just can't stand myself
Sometimes I wanna take it off the shelf
My patience is wearing my patience thin
But it's alright, in a while I'll be okay again

I think what takes the best of us
seems to always hurt the rest of us
I think saying our loving goodbyes
could take us the rest of our lives

I didn't ask for this
You didn't ask for this
We didn't ask for this
Why did we receive this?

I've heard them say life is a gift
But from whom and for what?
Well I'd like to thank whomever
For giving me what I didn't want