Poetry: Tar

It's like walking in hot tar
I know I won't get very far
'cause it sticks and it burns
but I'll put in the fix and I'll learn

Life is an uphill battle
and it's hard not to be like cattle
But I'll live with things I can't forget
and I'll deal with my handful of regret

Introspective: Shaking the hand of a personal hero.

I can remember when I was first introduced to punk rock at about the age of thirteen. I didn't really get it at first, and my friend was a little older than me and had been into it for a while, so he was listening to more out there stuff. But I can somewhat remember the day I turned over. All I know is I heard The Misfits, Black Flag, the Dead Kennedys, and the Sex Pistols. (I would go on to discover GWAR, Ska music, and a pile of other formative, for me, bands shortly thereafter.) This was a whole new thing to me. I was admittedly listening to some very lame things at the time (and some not so lame things I still listen to.) There was a lot of mass produced industry garbage, so this blatant rejection of that was new to me. Something clicked. Initially I was not a huge fan of Black Flag (or the Sex Pistols.) I really liked Keith Morris, but I didn't get Henry Rollins' incarnation of the band.

As I grew older, it started to grow on me (unlike the Sex Pistols, which I just dug one day.) I liked some songs like Rise Above or T.V. Party, but Damaged I or Depression didn't make sense. I was growing up to become (and still am) a very angry, frustratd, disenfranchised, and all around dysfunctional young man. Those of you that know me, know that my life, especially as of recent, has been marked with hardship, misfortune, and some bad choices on my part, which I have admittedly taken in stride. I can honestly say if I hadn't discovered punk rock and it's inherent values in my early teens, I probably wouldn't have garnered the strong self identification I rely on today. Not to say it wasn't in me, but on the path I was on, I don't think I would have found it. This is to say, without finding this strength I didn't know I had, I don't think I'd be here on this planet right now. It might sound melodramatic, but it's true. As life stopped being jellybeans and rainbows, these songs started to make more sense to me. Essentially because I was in a similar position as many punks: Frustrated.

Henry helped to provide this groundwork (as far as music, moreso with Rollins Band than Black Flag as he didn't write most of the lyrics.) I am not claiming to be anywhere near him, but it's his hardline ethics that have inspired me to become a 'better me' by my own definition. It's taking time, but it's time well spent. Patience isn't a bad thing. Recently, a good friend of mine sent me her original copy of one of Henry's early publications, Polio Flesh, which is a compilation of journal entries and poetry. I had just a few weeks earler learned of a new spoken word tour of Henry's, and he was coming to Richmond! I took this as a sign, that I must go meet this man who has become so integral to my very being.

I was broke. I borrowed some money, and booked 70 some miles north east to Richmond in the junk-van. I got there in one piece with healthy doses of Rollins Band. I got inside, and sat down. I was about 30 minutes early. Finally Rollins hit the stage, and he was in good form. He ran from topic to topic smoothly, and things were hilarious at times, interesting or informative at others. This type of thing isn't for everyone, especially since he's not the sort of eloquent political advisor of contemporary Jello Biafra, nor his old poetic self. I enjoyed it thoroughly, however.

After the show, I went out and joined the throng forming in front of what Rollins refers to as the Bon Jovi-Mobile, his tour bus. After about twenty minutes or so, he came out ready to sign, take pictures, and briefly speak with fans. I met a friend I didn't know was also going, and we chatted for a while until it was my turn. I shook Henry's hand and told him I had something kinda cool. He looked sort of surprised to see a copy of Polio Flesh, and remarked he hadn't seen any of those early books in a while. I got a picture with him, and before I departed I thanked him for his line of work, and told him if I had never discovered this whole thing I probably wouldn't be here. In modest fashion, he thanked me back. And that's what I take away from this. Even if we don't think we're giving someone something, everyone is giving someone something, even if it's just gratitude.

Okay, so I'm a sad sack of shit, sue me.

Alright, alright, I claimed a bevy of posts for Hallowe'en, but you can very well stuff off, you know! I've just been busy. I might squeeze some in. I jumped into this with nary preparation, gimme a break. I'll be better prepped next year, so you can just calm down. I do however, have some Hallowe'en and non-Hallowe'en stuff in production. Hopefully I can squeeze in the Hallowe'en stuff, but it's not looking like this hurricane is gonna let me. Cheers!

Album Review: The Misfits - American Psycho (1997)

Superior cover art for the LP release
(compared to the goofy CD version)

As we all know, I'm a Misfits fan boy, yet I'm not caught up in the Danzig VS Graves debate. I've never been one to dog a new singer just for being new (like a lot of people did on Blaze when he joined Iron Maiden.) I like the Graves era Misfits just as much, but I look at them as an entirely different band, which they practically are. So look past the errant Danzig fanboyery, and enjoy some pretty cool horror punk tunes that blend in a little heavy metal and pop punk (and not that fool Blink 182 crap either.)

The album opens with a slow instrumental track. This was actually based off of a song bassist Jerry Only wrote after the Misfits broke up, with his band Kryst The Conqueror. No, I'm not kidding, Jerry is a heavy Christian. Go figure. Anyway, it was a pretty cool little diddy that had lyrics and everything, so I think it's a shame that they didn't record the full song for the album. (Though there is a nice demo version on Cuts from the Crypt.)

This was the proposed design for Jerry's character Mo the Great in KTC.
Utterly Ridiculous.

It then kicks suddenly right into the title track, American Pyscho. In my opinion, this song isn't bad, but it's sort of forgettable. I don't know why it was pushed so hard, nor why the album's name was changed from Dead Kings Rise. They even cut the song Dead Kings Rise from the album (it was included as a bonus track on the vinyl release.) Most Misfits fans would say this is one of the best Graves era Misfits songs. It's baffling why it was cut in favor of some of the other songs.

And here is a something I'd like to point out, while Danzig wrote songs about films and books, they had long been released prior to the song being written. Jerry's tracks always seem to be like he's trying to cash in on something's recent popularity or what he thinks will be popular in the future. American Psycho was written as early as 1996, and it's obviously inspired by the book which was written in 1991. So I'm not quite sure if he was trying to get the song in the 2000 film adaptation, but it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't try at some point. A few of the songs from this album were recorded earlier in 1996, including Mars Attacks. Jerry had heard that Tim Burton was making a film based off of the card series and wrote the song. He then sent it to Burton, but he had already entered post production and it was too late to be put in the film. I think Jerry thought it'd be good marketing if they released a Mars Attacks EP if the song was featured in a movie, and then release a full album with some of that momentum. But the EP got scrapped and some of the tracks ended up on Cuts from the Crypt. I hate to rag on Jerry, but he always struck me as a sort of businessman and not a musician (certainly not one with 'punk values', either.)

But trivia aside, the album doesn't really pick up until the third track, Speak of the Devil. While it's not particularly great, I always find myself singing along to it. It's just one of those gems people tend to look over and it grows on you over time. The next track, Walk Among Us, stands out to me. It's obviously a throwback to the original Misfits' album of the same name. It sounds almost like it was written as the convergence point of the two different sounds, as if the new Misfits are covering an old Misfits song. I really dig it.

Michale Graves, Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein, Dr. CHUD, and Jerry Only.
In the Static Age era Jerry looked like a goofy Peter Pan reject, now he looks like a goofy WCW reject.

A lot of the songs on this album seem to be derivative in nature. The Hunger, From Hell They Came, This Island Earth, Day of the Dead, and The Haunting all seem to be inspired by films of the same name. The Crimson Ghost is written for the classic Misfits mascot, which was borrowed from a serial film of the same name. Interestingly, the song Shining isn't about the Stephen King book or film, but rather it's written about the Poltergeist series. I have no idea why it was done that way. Hate The Living, Love the Dead is also paraphrased from a line in one of my favorite films, Bride of Frankenstein.

Dig Up Her Bones is the better single from the album. Michale's writing shines through everyone else's material, in my opinion. He really wrote some of the best new Misfits material. The album kind of drags in the middle and it really feels like a few of the songs could have been cut. However, there are some goodies in there like Resurrection, This Island Earth, and The Haunting. It closes well with Don't Open 'Till Doomsday, which seems to be loosely inspired by an Outer Limits episode of the same name. There's also a nice hidden track in there that the band wrote with producer Daniel Rey.

Overall, I think it's a strong effort for a band to come back twenty some years later without it's original singer or primary songwriter. Unfortunately, the band would eventually deteriorate over time due to Jerry Only wanting to turn the band into The Jerry Only Show. It's a real shame he has relegated it down to being a weird three piece Misfits and Black Flag tribute band with bad original material. I believe Michale was fired from the band two or three times, and each time they brought in a new singer, fan response was overwhelmingly negative.

I'd say this album is very much worth checking out if you dig some good cheesy fun. It has a very distinct sound thanks to Jerry and Doyle's custom guitars, Michale's strong vocal talent (I have always found him to be very underrated), and good production from Daniel Rey (who has also produced for the Ramones and White Zombie.) It's nice to pop in every Hallowe'en season, but I find myself listening to it pretty often. If you never listened to any of the post-Danzig Misfits stuff, just remember it's gonna be different without him and I think you'll enjoy it if you just give it a try.

You can check it out here on YouTube, but it'll probably get taken down eventually. The uploader graciously included the hidden track and Dead Kings Rise from the LP release. Check it out.

Album Review: The Misfits - Static Age (1978)

There's no hiding it, I am a huge Misfits fan. I could wax all day on my Glenn Danzig man-crush. It pisses me off that due to Hot Topic and Jerry Only that the Misfits have remained in public consciousness as a sort of hip clothing line rather than a badass DIY band from punk's heyday. However, Static Age was so punk rock that although it was recorded in '78, it wasn't released in an official or unaltered form until 1996 in the Misfits coffin box set. Some of the sessions had made their way onto bootlegs, or had been overdubbed and remixed for albums like Legacy of Brutality or singles/EPs like Bullet.

Imagine a Misfits without devilocks, eye shadow, or skulls. It's obvious that the Misfits were still trying to find their sound at this point. They had moved from the 'art punk' of the Cough/Cool single, which didn't even feature guitars, just drum, bass, and Danzig on keyboards (imagine that!), and onto a more hardcore sound. However, it wasn't quite what one would typify as horror punk. Yet, you can see Danzig forming this new subgenre with plenty of tunes that are directly inspired by horror and sci-fi films, like Return of the Fly and We Are 138, and by using b-movie tropes in songs like Teenagers from Mars and Come Back. But then there are tracks like She, which is based on the case of Patty Hearst, or Bullet which is rather unapologetically about the assassination of John F. Kennedy and Glenn's infatuation with Jackie Kennedy. Hollywood Babylon is inspired by the book of the same name which documents sordid tales of old Hollywood, this comes off as unsurprising given Glenn's deep interest in cinema, especially from the classic era. Most of the tracks are but a glimpse into the Misfits' eventual sound. Even the tracks that were re-recorded would sound a lot harder and end up a little faster.

Danzig, Mr. Jim, Franché Coma, and Jerry Only

The album was ultimately shelved when Mr. Jim and Franché quit the band, because as you can see above Glenn and Jerry hadn't quite become the dorks we know. They were much dorkier. I mean just look at Glenn, that is more ridiculous looking than his fishnet t-shirts. Mr. Jim and Franché would be replaced by Bobby Steele and Joey Image. This is the lineup most hardcore fans would consider the best, as well as the ultimate shift to something that looks more like the Misfits we all know and love (or loathe.)

On almost any day if you asked me what my favorite Misfits album is, I'd probably say Static Age. It's not a great or well put together record like 12 Hits from Hell (yet another shelved Misfits album), but it makes up for that by oozing creativity and energy. A lot of the songs would become live staples and be re-recorded numerous times. There's plenty of underrated tracks that just rock like T.V. Casualty and Some Kind of Hate. Some of the tracks are kind of slow like Come Back and Theme For a Jackal (which has a heavy keyboard presence, something that was looked down upon back then.) I find this makes the album a lot more interesting musically from say Earth A.D./Wolfsblood (although I love that record.) I really like this album, and maybe even if you find the Misfits a little annoying, I think you should take a listen. This sounds a lot different from some of their more famous efforts, like Walk Among Us (which I have always considered a very weak record, I rarely ever listen to it.)

You can take a listen on YouTube here if you like.

 

Note: The album is only about 35 minutes, the last eight minutes or so are outtakes and studio banter.

Game Review: Zombies Ate My Neighbors! (1993, SNES)

This post is all about firsts. This is my first real post, first review, this game was one of my first favorite games, and this is my first Hallowe'en post (I plan a bevy of game and movie posts, among whatever else I can think of.) The show must go on.

North American box art

Between my brothers and I, we probably rented this game enough when were kids to buy it three or four times. I LOVED this game, even though it was maybe a little too hard for me at the time. It's strikingly pretty graphics and amazing atmosphere must have sucked me in way back when, because I feel just like a child again when I play it now, except I can actually beat it now. But just imagine looking at that cover as a kid. That is AWESOME. Generic 1950's mom grimacing in terror while pale green zombies shamble alongside the awesome font and loopy acid background? Sign me up. But enough with nostalgia, what about the game?

Zombies Ate My Neighbors (henceforth referred to as Zombies/ZAMN for short) is a top down run-n-gun that was developed by LucasArts Entertainment. Yes, that Lucas, George Lucas. Now, LucasArts was a gaming giant in the 90's, if you were playing an adventure game, chances are LucasArts made it. Almost all the Indiana Jones and Star Wars films they had a hand in, as well as popular series like Monkey Island and Sam and Max. ZAMN, however, tends to fall by the wayside. I don't hear much about it, but it is undoubtedly a SNES classic. (It was also released on Sega Genesis, but by all accounts that port is inferior.)

Looks like the zombie got that baby. I was focusing on burgers.

The whole experience is masterfully crafted. It manages to be a throwback and homage to early horror and sci-fi films, but also those of the game's era. It takes all the good things, mixes them up in a blender, and it all comes out in it's own blend of delicious salsa. You can tell all the parts it's taking from, but it's still decidedly it's own. It just works. Now you might be wondering, what I mean by taking parts from everywhere, well, you don't only fight the game's namesake. You'll fight everything from zombies, werewolves, mummies, and vampires to more modern monsters like killer dolls, giant sandworms, chainsaw wielding maniacs (censored to axe wielding maniacs in Europe and Australia). Then there is all kinds of off the wall stuff like UFOs, aliens, fifty foot babies, and mushroom men. The game has a large and colorful cast that will keep you interested well through the 55 levels (seven of which are secret levels you have to find.) That's right, 55 levels of butt-kicking goodness! Each level follows it own theme, and some levels have similar themes, but it's mixed up enough that you won't mind playing another suburban level because it has it's own twist. In fact, this game has plenty of variety. There are two playable characters (Zeke and Julie), and the cooperative mode is wonderful. There are tons of weapons and inventory items, and each one has their own special use. For example, you need keys to be able to open locked doors. But what if you don't have a key? No problem, bust it down with the bazooka. There's all kinds of little details like that in the game.

I didn't know Gill-Man was hanging out in pyramids now.

The object of the game is less about seeing how many enemies you can kill (although like any classic arcade style game, that's a way to get points) but rather about saving people from being killed by the various dangers that litter each level. In some levels it's a race to save them before they become werewolves, so don't lollygag! (Fortunately that's the closest thing this game has to a timer.) You can have up to 10 people to save in a level depending on how well you've done prior. (Only really good players are going to get 10 victims a level, and one or two levels have a bonus person to save.) This is an early, and good, example of auto-adjusting difficulty. The game is just right depending on how good you are, and the better you are the better you're rewarded.

When I went to the shopping mall, I was only expecting to be accosted by the
jerk playing with a helicopter, not a giant baby and huge purple ants!

Have I mentioned the music yet? Nope! I should have! The music in this game might not be groundbreaking or anything, but it's perfect for the atmosphere. It's just catchy enough to keep a level from seeming boring, however it also mimics old school film soundtracks with plenty of weird instrumentation to keep you on your toes. It compliments the cheery nature of the game, but the somber tone of it's source material. It's just genius.

The farther you get in the game, the wackier it gets.
I've just been slimed by the Blob while Martians run amok!

All in all, I would say this is one of my all time favorite games. If I was stuck on an island with five or ten games, and this was one of them, there would be no complaints from me. It's just long enough and varied to have great replay value and it's good for casual or seasoned gamers. Oh, and you can play with a friend, what's better than that? I urge you to check it out. It's been released for the Wii Virtual Console, but I've yet to play that port. I hear it's very close to the Super Nintendo version and I say very much worth picking up if you can find it for SNES or you have a Wii. If not, you can always resort to playing it on an emulator. Which is what I did recently, and I had a blast.

Can you hear me?

This is a sort of pre-emptive strike in the bow, I guess you could say. This is gonna be a place where I'm gonna dump rants and raves, ramblings, excerpts from my journal, poetry, and all kinds of other stupid stuff I'm pretty sure no one wants to read. A good friend of mine has convinced me over time to start a blog because he says the best writers are always people who think they are too boring to write things and no one gives a shit about their opinion. I won't be writing too often about things I do, and I most definitely won't be using this as a diary of sorts. I don't do a lot of cool stuff, but every so often I may document something of interest. So lay down your crack pipes, and enjoy my sedating words.