Introspective: Shaking the hand of a personal hero.

I can remember when I was first introduced to punk rock at about the age of thirteen. I didn't really get it at first, and my friend was a little older than me and had been into it for a while, so he was listening to more out there stuff. But I can somewhat remember the day I turned over. All I know is I heard The Misfits, Black Flag, the Dead Kennedys, and the Sex Pistols. (I would go on to discover GWAR, Ska music, and a pile of other formative, for me, bands shortly thereafter.) This was a whole new thing to me. I was admittedly listening to some very lame things at the time (and some not so lame things I still listen to.) There was a lot of mass produced industry garbage, so this blatant rejection of that was new to me. Something clicked. Initially I was not a huge fan of Black Flag (or the Sex Pistols.) I really liked Keith Morris, but I didn't get Henry Rollins' incarnation of the band.

As I grew older, it started to grow on me (unlike the Sex Pistols, which I just dug one day.) I liked some songs like Rise Above or T.V. Party, but Damaged I or Depression didn't make sense. I was growing up to become (and still am) a very angry, frustratd, disenfranchised, and all around dysfunctional young man. Those of you that know me, know that my life, especially as of recent, has been marked with hardship, misfortune, and some bad choices on my part, which I have admittedly taken in stride. I can honestly say if I hadn't discovered punk rock and it's inherent values in my early teens, I probably wouldn't have garnered the strong self identification I rely on today. Not to say it wasn't in me, but on the path I was on, I don't think I would have found it. This is to say, without finding this strength I didn't know I had, I don't think I'd be here on this planet right now. It might sound melodramatic, but it's true. As life stopped being jellybeans and rainbows, these songs started to make more sense to me. Essentially because I was in a similar position as many punks: Frustrated.

Henry helped to provide this groundwork (as far as music, moreso with Rollins Band than Black Flag as he didn't write most of the lyrics.) I am not claiming to be anywhere near him, but it's his hardline ethics that have inspired me to become a 'better me' by my own definition. It's taking time, but it's time well spent. Patience isn't a bad thing. Recently, a good friend of mine sent me her original copy of one of Henry's early publications, Polio Flesh, which is a compilation of journal entries and poetry. I had just a few weeks earler learned of a new spoken word tour of Henry's, and he was coming to Richmond! I took this as a sign, that I must go meet this man who has become so integral to my very being.

I was broke. I borrowed some money, and booked 70 some miles north east to Richmond in the junk-van. I got there in one piece with healthy doses of Rollins Band. I got inside, and sat down. I was about 30 minutes early. Finally Rollins hit the stage, and he was in good form. He ran from topic to topic smoothly, and things were hilarious at times, interesting or informative at others. This type of thing isn't for everyone, especially since he's not the sort of eloquent political advisor of contemporary Jello Biafra, nor his old poetic self. I enjoyed it thoroughly, however.

After the show, I went out and joined the throng forming in front of what Rollins refers to as the Bon Jovi-Mobile, his tour bus. After about twenty minutes or so, he came out ready to sign, take pictures, and briefly speak with fans. I met a friend I didn't know was also going, and we chatted for a while until it was my turn. I shook Henry's hand and told him I had something kinda cool. He looked sort of surprised to see a copy of Polio Flesh, and remarked he hadn't seen any of those early books in a while. I got a picture with him, and before I departed I thanked him for his line of work, and told him if I had never discovered this whole thing I probably wouldn't be here. In modest fashion, he thanked me back. And that's what I take away from this. Even if we don't think we're giving someone something, everyone is giving someone something, even if it's just gratitude.